it was a christmas card.

The other night I got the chance to see one of my good friend's bands "The Colourist" and the entire time I knew they were cool, and funny and catchy but it wasn't until I saw them myself I realized how good they were. No matter what happened they kept it fun, even with disasters happening left and right, from the annoying drunk crowd to Adam's AMP TO STOP WORKING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SONG!!!

I felt like you needed some color.
The Dear and Departed.

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera. Polaroid 669 Film]

The Dear and Departed

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

Dan Smith

"if we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -Ronald Reagan

[Polaroid SX-70]

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

The "I Shred" series"Johnny B

Self

Self

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

Ben Soto is the coolest dude i think i've ever met.

This...this is Matt Lamb. He is by far one of my favorite people in the entire world. I don't think I will ever meet another person that is as funny, genuine, lovable, good looking, creative and clever as him.

P.S. Dani is great too.

July 4th 2009.

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

[Holgaroid]

B.B. Break in Part 2

Its February 16th, 2005.
We made a playlist called "B.B. Break in" it had only our favorite songs on it. I play air drums to it all night. The boys are still sleeping and the sky is finally getting lighter. I'm just starting to get sleepy and "BB Break in" is over, all that was left was the hum of the engine, and the wind pushing us back and forth. I look back and Matt is awake, just laying on his back on the couch, hands behind his head just watching the sky go by out the side window. There isnt a cloud in sight. As I turn back around to keep my eyes on the road I hear Alex rustling around up there. After a few minutes he climbs down into the front passenger seat. Once he's situated I look over at him I dont say anything, just point at the mountains. We look to the right and its the most majestic sunrise I have ever seen before or since. Neither of us say anything we just look. The sky is a cool pale blue and has purple and pink hues. Just before the sun comes over the mountains in the distance you can see (and feel) the rays peeking over and reflecting on this flooded field from us all the way to the mountains.

We decide to pull over and get a photo (or at least try.) I start to slow down and Matt shouts "what're you doing?" I just look at Alex and have him explain what we're doing. I start to pull into the dirt but its too soft so I pull back to where I'm only partially on the road. I've never done something like this, this trip, I feel so grown up. I'm on top of the world. The heater has been on all night so its nice and toasty in the beaver, I cant say the same for outside. Its so damn cold I cant handle it. I only brought a polaroid camera with me. I shoot a few photos, out here by myself. I look back at alex the only one with a real camera here, and give him a look. He shoots a look right back at me and finally gets out to take some photos. Matt stays nice and warm inside. My polaroid wont meter it to come out. I give up on it and get back in. alex shoots one of me from inside the RV, then one of the RV with some big rigs passing and they don't show up, only the streaks from their head/tail lights show up. we're excited. needless to say.

B.B. Break in Part 1

I'm a narrator.
I cant think straight.
I cant see straight.
Scatter Brain.
its february 15, 2005, nothing to do, nowhere to go. I'm sitting on Matt's computer in his living room, the heater is so loud. i get up and go into his room with the computer. We joke about how we should just drive the beaver (our RV) to the hoover dam and then the grand canyon, i extend the joke to alex who I'm talking to on aim. He's like me bored with everything, even as soon as it starts. Nothing feels good. He says if i were serious he'd be over in 15 minutes. He lives 30 minutes away and would have to pack.

Matt walks outside, its hot in here so I follow him. Walking down the stairs we keep talking about all the cool things we could do now that we have an RV. "We could drive all night, get to the dam by 8 they dont open till 10 so we could sleep for 2 hours, take the tour, leave for the grand canyon and make it for sunset." matt sighs. "OH! and we could camp there over night, go for a hike in the morning hit vegas on the way back!" i shout, more excited than I ever get. Matt veto's my Vegas idea because John has never been, and we should wait for him. John is a fellow owner of the RV. "We could go to Calico?" Matt has this fascination with Calico that I just never got. I'm pretty indifferent at this point, I dont REALLY expect to go.

When I get back upstairs Alex has sent a books worth of IM's but the only one that stands out is "We're going. I'm Packing. See you in 30 minutes."

Matts upstairs when Alex gets there, all the lights in the Beaver are off he peeks his head around the corner. Camera in one hand, duffle bag in the other. He just happens to be wearing the same army shirt/jacket that I am. We look at eachothers shirts. I think its funny, He's pissed. We go upstairs and Matt laughs at us faster than i thought he could register that we were wearing the same shirt. Now, I'm pissed too. "I'll be right back" and he runs into his room. when he comes out, he's wearing the same shirt. "you're such an ass hole" -alex.

We leave just on time, all i remember from the drive there is the lines in the road, a clunk that sounded like the wheel coming loose and nothing, as far as i could see.

Joshua Tree.

Dan Smith

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

Look at that beard!

[Polaroid 210 Land Camera]

My First Digital SLR photo. (ever!)

City

For photo Class I had to create an image using paper bags, paper clips, nails, and cups and this is what I came up with.

Mi Amor

I used to take tons of polaroids

Chris Hurley

My mom loves to paint.

My Trip to new york.

It rained most of the time, which is ok because i wasnt lugging around my camera the entire time. but i caught a few goodies.

Oh...How I miss Haendel Balzora

I miss skip, he gets home tomorrow!!!

YHVH

a selfless faith
the call to love
the pursuit of justice
helping others
the hope and freedom we have in Christ
the truth of the gospel in a world that is searching...

Feel free to change the world.

Here are a few snaps of what happened. i will post more later i promise.

Zechariah 9:9 (nkj)
“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!
Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Behold, your King is coming to you;
He is just and having salvation,
Lowly and riding on a donkey,
A colt, the foal of a donkey."

To think that our gentle King chose the lowly path, that Jesus came not riding dignified on a mighty horse but on a silly little donkey.
Came not to be served but to serve.
not to overpower, but to be overpowered.
not to judge but to be judged.
not to be lifted up in praise but to be lifted up on the cross,
in humiliation and rejection and failure.

Hi Chris.

mammoth was pretty fun.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week

Just Some Thoughts..

This week has been the first metaphorical roller coaster of my life. It all started with a screening of a film that has inspired and excited me...in fact it started even earlier with a good friend of mine that came to work with me in the cube (bad idea he hated it, you would too) one day after work, like so many other days we were in front of the office after work nothing to do and no one to please just simply getting lost in wherever the conversation would take us weather it was something heart wrenching, just about the weather, cars, G-d or even philosophy. The question started off as why do we work here hating our jobs so much? Then there was an unusual turn instead of saying the usual "it sucks" and then moving on we had somehow come upon something, it turned into maybe we hate this because G-d has hate it for a reason.

{We always hear about G-d speaking TO us or THROUGH us but when it comes time to believe that or even actively seek G-d in our own lives we tend to just play it off. I want to know why? I want to make that change.}

So the next step in our conversation was well if we feel that G-d has us hate our job then what should we be DOING? It was as if my life was different as soon as that thought popped into my head. The only problem: we went back to eating our Jalapeño potato chips, and I feel like that’s what we Have done as American Christians, we go back to just eating our chips.
Some co-workers and my self were discussing what babe we think is the sweetest babe in Hollywood, boss', sales reps, receptionists, sales support, EVERYONE...and someone says Rachel McAdams and of course I agree but at the same time I think that only in the instance of the film “Wedding Crashers” and then this mom that is a sales rep, and Christian decided to try guilt me, for what reason I don’t know and asks if I would watch the movie with my mom in the room, and I say yes. She is stumped. Then another co-worker who at the time is the new sales manager, also a Christian takes it a step further (I seriously don’t know what the attack was all about but I thank them for it) and asks the typical if I would watch that movie if Jesus was in the room. "Hell no bro! I wouldn’t be working in the cube that’s for sure" I elaborated on what I would do and what I would not do having Jesus physically sitting next to me as if I were reading a list of to do’s when I won the lotto.
It was back, that same light bulb that went of just seconds before I went back to eating my chips in Brian’s car. Granted, they were good chips...but realistically, were they worth it? I remember that replaying in my head, "I wouldn’t waste my time in the cube", OVER and OVER. I then decided to give it my best and do as well as I could so I could go overseas and make films and show people what it is like being a missionary and what type of need there is in this world for more than just a new Merchadies Benz, not even asking people give up things that they “deserve” or worked so hard for, just compelling people to give out of their excess. I could give you statistics but it wouldn’t really matter, WE ALL KNOW THE NEED, WE ALL HAVE THE EXCESS TO GIVE.
Again life seemed to just go on and I had lost that passion, not fully but still the passion wasn’t as "passionate." I could blame my church, my friends, my family, myself, but what good would it do?
I want to be the difference in this world, but then again I do not want to be the face, I do not want to receive the praise, it is like playing with dynamite. (Also how am I to know? I’ve never been the face of anything but myself.) I want to be in the shadows, writing their inspiration. I just want people to feel what I feel.
Haendel came at a pretty crucial moment in my life. We typically bagged on things on the way to and from work; it’s just a matter of how our relationship had started. Wrong foot to start off on. A few nights later I could not sleep for some reason and I just had not felt the closeness of G-d that I wanted, so the best way to fix that is pray and actively seek him, so I did. I just started expressing everything I could come up with questions/concerns as if it were my friend sitting in the car next to me on the way home from somewhere far away. I asked for him to change the way I thought, and the next morning our conversation was different, we questioned each other why are we here? What are we doing? What do we aspire to be? Where do we feel called in the church? And by church I do not by ANY stretch of the imagination mean Beach Cities I mean the body of Christ. Where do we feel like we belong in this humongous job of being a servant of Christ? Then I expressed to him about how I wanted to go over sea's weather that was China, Africa, London, Peru, Argentina wherever and document the church (again the body of Christ). Perhaps to inspire young people all over the world to give out of their excess. Basically start a movement of kids to change the earth like so many people talk about, but so few really attempt. He had this kind of strange look like I’ve never seen him make and I asked him to explain. He told me that that’s exactly how he felt I should be using my life (kinda weird) and proceeded to tell me about invisible children and how these 3 dudes did exactly what I wanted to do and it had become a movement. Of course just hearing that inspired me. Flash forward 1 maybe 2 months and we found out they actually went on tour and had screening and he looked into and it just so happened that they (the so cal invisible children team) had an open night to come to our building (beach cities) and show us the film. Thanks guys. We had it all last minute; we didn’t get supplies until the day of the showing when they were literally useless. 50 kids came; at the most 5 people had seen it before. Good turn out with last minute stuff.
We, (handle and I) being servants, decided that we wanted them to hang out with us after. We had known them for a matter of minutes and could see they were fatigued mentally and physically. This was our mission. Right here. In front of us. These 4 people. Why was it that we felt such a desire to serve them? I can’t even explain it, there was something different about these people than just other “new people.” I cant speak for Haendel that night at in and out we just talked and hung and made plans to go hang out with them this weekend (which is now last weekend) and let me tell you, I had no idea that life like that existed. So often when someone says that it is a bad thing. This? This, was a good thing I feel so inspired by the DOing attitude they had. It was one of those things they think isn’t anything amazing. To me that was amazing, they were literally the best people I have ever met. We didn’t even do anything exceptional just hung out, beach, drive, talk, taco loco, bikes, Newport Harbor, stay up late. all the randomness.

The weirdest part about it is Saturday on the drive home handle put together this rag tag lesson of what it means to be a disciple of Christ and what it means to get there, or why would people party if they called themselves a Christian? Is being a Christian really better than Partying, flings, the desire for more, living for yourself? No its not. Because the Christianity we live is boring. The reason it is boring is because Jesus never called us to be mediocre. In the church we even talk about being a lukewarm Christian and SOMEHOW (I don’t know how) we look at it and say “oh that’s not talking about me.” Or what about the story where The rich man comes to Jesus and says “look at all this I have don’t for you” and Jesus tells him it is worthless until he sells everything, gives his riches to the poor and lives for him. The man leaves and keeps his crap. But what has struck me about it is that he was honest about not wanting to fallow Jesus, just like the lukewarm Christian we look at that and say “oh that’s different for me, I don’t need to sell my stuff.” In all reality you may not be called to sell all of your stuff, but why do you make that excuse? I personally don’t think its that you need to get rid of all of your money. I think that it is you need to get rid of what you think is the most important thing to you. Your idol.
We are called to be a revolutionary disciple of the most revolutionary person in the world, Jesus Christ. Even more specifically we are called to lose ourselves in bringing him praise.
And this last weekend I discovered that adventure of being a REAL servant/disciple and that is something I don’t EVER want to lose. EVER.